its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
