How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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