Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
