still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize