Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize