hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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