Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Terrible idea I love it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
