also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
