hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
