Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
