party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
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i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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