My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
