she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
