"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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