so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
