If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
