I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
