If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
