think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
