1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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