Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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