literally had 100 drinks last night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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