that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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