im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
