What did we do last night that was yellow?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize