It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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