are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
