Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
