He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize