so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
