I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
