Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
