Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
