remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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