Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
