have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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