I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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