i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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