i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
