Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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