dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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