Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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