I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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