Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
