I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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