My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
