im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
