woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
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