You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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