Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
