I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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