We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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