Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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