I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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