remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
