Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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