i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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