FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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