Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just made out with a guy for $7.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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