I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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