You're completely useless in the revolution.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
