We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
