Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
