Come see our sink grown plant.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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