I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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