I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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