Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
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Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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