It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
